Monster
by Dragoncat
Summary: How many times has it been said that there is someone for anyone? But, will there ever be anyone for Kurt? Mature content in later chapters.
1. Chapter 1

Hello, everyone! I am Dragoncat, and this is my first X-Men fanfic. I do NOT own the X-Men characters, but be assured that later chapters will have characters that are all mine.

As you read this latest creation, please remember the famous words from Mr. Richard Lovelace...

"Stone walls do not a prison make, nor iron bars a cage…"

With that in mind, I am proud to present...

**CHAPTER ONE**

_I _know_ you're a monster… I _know_ you're a monster… I _know_ you're a monster…_

For days now, Kurt Wagner has been running for his life. He was either running, teleporting, or even doing both at once. He didn't dare stop. If he did, he was as good as caught.

Kurt wasn't running from the Friends of Humanity, Weapon X, or even S.H.I.E.L.D… Well, actually he had to stay clear of them for…obvious reasons. But, now more than ever, he was running from the people he feared most.

He was running from the X-men.

_You're a monster… a monster… a monster…_

A monster… That was all Kurt would ever be in the eyes of the world. Well… maybe not always a monster. Many times, he was a demon. Sometimes he'd be a freak, or an abomination, or – at the very least – just a mutant. But mostly, he was a monster. Even among mutants! He would never be seen as someone who just wanted to live normally. Someone who dreamt of having a family, of enjoying the simple pleasures of life that normal humans tend to take for granted.

At least, that's what he'd _like_ to dream of.

Sadly, when he did find a chance to sleep, his dreams would remind him of when he was caged in the circus, or – even worse - being "trained" by Weapon X, to do missions that _they_ wanted done, but did not wish to do themselves.

That was not the life he wanted. After he had escaped Jardine's circus, he was content to live his life in the wild; away from the people who saw him as nothing more than a freak show. He thought life could not get worse than that.

Oh, how wrong he was.

Before he knew what had hit him, he had been captured by Weapon X…and they made the circus look like Heaven on Earth. Nothing would have pleased him more than to be free from that horrifying place, and he tried. So many times… So many times…. But _they'd_ catch him. No matter what, _they'd_ always catch him. And each punishment was more brutal than the last. After a while, he realized that escaping was never going to be an option for him.

He dreamt of all the experiments _they_ did on them, because _they_ could not understand how a creature such as he could possibly exist. But most of all, he dreamt of all the cages he had been crammed in. From the circus cages, to the Weapon X "accommodations"; while the other mutants were placed in cells large enough for a human, he was crammed in cages barely big enough for a large dog. Apparently, he was not considered 'human' enough for any of the same luxuries. Was it really a surprise that he felt more comfortable in the quadruped position?

When Kurt had been rescued by the X-men, he thought the nightmare had finally coming to an end. At long last, he would finally have a chance at a normal life.

What a foolish notion!

Xavier's mansion became the biggest, most spacious, most elaborate prison he had ever been in. At least his room gave him space to move about with no problem. It even came with a nice, large _bed_ to sleep in. A real room! A real bed!

And life at the mansion did have its moments. Every now and then, Kurt and Warren would train together in the Danger Room. The training was more enjoyable when the sequences had a pirate theme. Ah, the adventures of the Dread Pirate Blue Tail made training worthwhile.

Yes, life at Professor Xavier's mansion was much better than Jardine's circus and Weapon X combined. No doubt about that. But at what price?

As the X-man known as Nightcrawler, he could help save the world a thousand times over, but no matter what, he would always be the "odd one out". While everyone else went to the mall, the movies or even Coney Island, Kurt always had to stay home. No matter how many friends he made, he was never human enough to truly become one of them.

_I _know_ you're a monster…_

Rogue didn't understand. She did not understand at all. When she touched him back at the hideaway, she may have seen some of his horrible memories from Weapon X, but she didn't see everything. Had she seen the ways he had been tortured, their 'training procedures'...What choice did he have? He had to do as he was told…or wish he had.

Sure, Rogue said that she knew about having to hide her mutant powers. But she was fine as long as she didn't have to touch anyone. She could go anywhere and still look human. Kurt had to hide everything that made him…_him_. Not just his powers, but his very existence. Unlike everyone else, Kurt could never pretend he was not a mutant. He could never fully hide his blue fur, his spaded tail, his hands…and don't get him started on shoes.

But what was worst of all? Everyone had someone…except for Kurt. Scott had Jean, Logan had Ororo, Kitty had Peter, Rogue had Bobby, Warren had Dazzler…. Even the Professor went on the occasional date. But who did Kurt have? Who was there for him?

When Warren had left the mansion after that disastrous rescue attempt, Kurt thought he had a chance with Dazzler. He had always liked her. All he needed was a chance to win her heart. One chance, to prove that he was someone she could love.

As he ran, he thought about how everything went wrong with that. Perhaps he shouldn't have lied about the mansion being attacked. Perhaps Xavier had read his mind when he arrived late for the meeting. And then there's Logan. He does have advanced senses, after all. Perhaps he detected her scent on him. Perhaps it was all of the above. Nevertheless, the jig was up. Even after he had pleaded his case, it felt like no one had truly understood.

Not even Dazzler.

Kurt's punishment was being entranced by the Professor. He was not only locked away from the other mutants, he was locked away in his own subconscious. Having to relive his experiences in Weapon X was pure torture. But what hurt even more, was hearing Rogue call him a monster.

Maybe she was right…

_I _know_ you're a monster… _Rogue's words continued to haunt him as he fled further and further away from Xavier's mansion. As long as he ran, Cerebro could not get a clear fix on him. It was the only defense he had against the world's most powerful telepath.

Kurt had no idea where he was going, but he felt a bit of relief as he had finally made his way out of the city, and was heading deeper into forest terrain. He assumed he was moving north. Perhaps he had already crossed the border into Canada. Wherever he was, he knew that from now on, he had to stay far away from people, both human and mutant.

Kurt ran… and ran… and ran some more. But he had been running almost non-stop for many days. He was exhausted, weak and so hungry. And then, the night sky began to rain. His hands were filthy from running on all fours, so he looked up to the sky with his mouth open to drink the rain. At least he was able to have some water.

After much more travelling, he had finally found shelter from the downpour. He was on the verge of collapse, so he could not fully inspect his port in the storm, but it felt dry enough for the moment. He had just enough strength left to pray that no one wound find him…at least, not right now.

He was asleep before his head had hit the floor.


	2. Chapter 2

Hello, everyone! It's Dragoncat again!

For those of you wondering why the X-Men are not hunting him down, here's...

**Chapter Two**

Professor Charles F. Xavier is one of the most powerful telepaths on the planet, if not _the_ most powerful. Despite being confined to a wheelchair due to a…rather…horrifying… incident*, he could do incredible things.

Among his incredible achievements was creating the machine known as Cerebro. It was designed to detect anyone who has the X-gene. Those that do are destined to become mutants, and when they do, their lives change forever…though, not usually for the better. The vast majority of mutants are rejected by their family and friends, cast out of their homes, kicked out of school and are forced to live their lives as outcasts, possibly even as criminals. And those that are fortunate enough to hide their powers must keep it a secret from the rest of the world, or share the same fate as the vast majority.

Xavier has a dream. He strongly believes with all his heart that mutants and humans can co-exist if given the chance. When connecting Cerebro with his telepathic mind, he searches the world for mutants and offers them that chance. He wants to give mutants the chance to prove to the world – and to themselves – that they can function as members of society; that mutants are not monsters. When given the chance, a mutant can live a normal, respectable and peaceful life.

But sadly, there are still many who see mutations as something to be feared; a view seen by both humans and mutants. The situation has – on many occasions – led to violent battles, with casualties on both sides. Because of this, Xavier has trained a group of mutants to use their powers to help promote peace between humans and mutants. This group of mutants became "The X-Men". They have fought many battles, and faced many challenges, all in the name of Xavier's ultimate goal.

One of his other achievements was renovating his mansion home into a school: The Xavier Institute for Gifted Youngsters. There were blackboards, desks, a cafeteria, dorm rooms, a teacher's lounge and even some offices… everything a school needs.

Hidden underneath the mansion are the means for Professor Xavier to train the X-Men for their missions. Among those "means" is an enormous chamber called "The Danger Room". It is here that the X-Men learn to master their mutant powers. There's also an infirmary. Good thing, too… Because a large number of that infirmary's hospital beds are presently being used by members of the X-Men. Iceman, Shadowcat, Jean Grey, Colossus, Rogue and Storm are resting as best as they can under Dr. McCoy's care.

A few days ago, Xavier's institute was under attack. A one-man army who called himself Cable came to kidnap Professor Xavier. Naturally, the X-Men were not going to stand for that. Unfortunately, this Cable guy – someone none of them had ever met – knew how to deal with the X-Men's powers. It was a terrifying battle, and they were barely able to fight him off. In the end Cable decided to retreat empty-handed…but not without causing serious damage to both Xavier's team and his Cerebro machine.

And now, while Dr. McCoy was doing everything in his power to ease his patients' pain, Charles Xavier was doing everything he could to repair Cerebro. All the while, Cyclops and Wolverine – both with their fair share of bruises and bandages – look on with grave concern. They both knew that only Xavier has the know-how to repair Cerebro. He built it, after all. But he has been working on it for days…

Non-stop.

And now, after a silent prayer, Cyclops tries – once again – to talk Xavier into getting some rest. "Professor, please…"

"Not now, Scott."

"Professor, I'm begging you. You need to rest. It's three in the morning. At least for a few hours…"

"I'm finally making some progress. The sooner Cerebro is repaired, the sooner we can locate Kurt."

"…"

And that was the end of that argument. That has been the end of every argument since the repairs went underway. Every attempt to convince Xavier to take a break ended with him reminding them how important it was to find Kurt. And truth be told, no one could really argue with that point. So Scott and Logan silently agreed that the best thing they could do was simply be there for the Professor. And sure enough, hours later, just before daylight began its approach, the Professor passed out from exhaustion in his wheelchair. That was their chance.

The two X-men worked as carefully as possible to help Xavier to bed. Even with his incredible mind powers, there were limits to what his body could endure. Neither Scott nor Logan said anything as they dealt with the task at hand, but they were both very thankful that their teacher/mentor/father-figure was not conscious while they saw to his sponge bath, changing into pajamas and tucking into bed. As they quietly left the room, Logan, with his more heightened hearing, could hear Xavier whisper in his sleep, "I was only trying…to help you, Kurt…. Why won't you…let me help you…?"

Logan's thoughts kept focusing on that Cable guy. The worst kind of psychopath is a psychopath that does his homework. He knew how to deal with everyone who tried to take him on…even Rogue. On one hand, it should have been easy for Rogue to take him down with her power to drain others just by giving them what he liked to call 'the finishing touch'. But, Logan had to keep in mind that Rogue didn't always have that special power. When her old boyfriend, Gambit, died in her arms, she had absorbed his kinetic energy powers. With Gambit's powers, she had been able to touch people safely, and she loved it. It had lasted for a long time…but had worn off a few days ago. Now she's back to 'no touching', and she's not too happy about that.

Maybe Kurt would have had a better chance of dealing with him. But then again, he was in no condition to help. Not in his state of mind. Logan was still finding it hard to believe that Kurt snapped the way he did. And something else Logan would never admit out loud: What anyone saw in Dazzler. She may have found true love with Angel, but that girl had more issues than Logan ever did on his worst day.

With the professor safe in bed and sound asleep, they exited the room to find Jean waiting outside. She had also taken a beating from Cable, but it was safe to say Dr. McCoy deemed her well enough to leave the infirmary. Logan saw this as his cue to excuse himself. As much as he wanted to track down Kurt and save the Professor the trouble, he could not risk leaving the mansion as it was. The majority of the team was still in the infirmary. If that Cable guy came back, he should be here to deal with him. Besides, he wanted to see how Ororo was doing. She took just as much a beating as the others.

All was quiet for a moment. They walked down the hall for a few steps before Jean finally decided to ask, "So… How is he?"

"He's finally resting. It's still going to be a while before Cerebro is fully functional. How about you? How are you doing?"

"I'm worried, Scott. Too much has happened this past week for me to feel at ease about anything. And believe it or not, what worries me most…is Kurt. He's out there all alone, thinking he's unloved and unwanted. And not a single one of us is in any shape to even look for him, let alone help him."

Once again, Scott could not argue. Life as a mutant is not easy. And for some more than others, life can be even worse…

Many mutants discover their powers during their teenage years. Imagine waking up to another school day. The only thing you're worried about is finding out whether or not you failed that pop algebra quiz your sweet, kind, understanding, secretly evil** Math teacher ambushed you with two days ago. As the day goes by, you never suspect that somewhere within your DNA, a mysterious X-gene decides to activate, and it takes over your body in ways you never thought were even possible. Some are fortunate enough to maintain their human forms, even when they are using their powers. There are those whose appearances change altogether, even when they're not using their powers. Either way, once that happens, your life as you know it is over…and will never be the same again.

Kurt was different. He was always different. From the moment he came out of his mother's womb, it was obvious that he was a mutant. He had never looked human. With his blue fur, pointed ears, those hands, those feet, and even a pointed tail…

(_Unloved… unwanted…_) Those words made Scott think back to when they had to rescue Dazzler. What Kurt did may have been wrong, but after hearing him plead his case, Scott couldn't help but understand why he did what he did. To think that all Kurt wanted was for someone to love him. It seemed like a fair request. Scott loved Jean more than anyone. Just being near her filled his heart with such joy. Perhaps Kurt just needed to find someone who could do that for him.

But what chance did poor Kurt have of ever living a "normal life"?

o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o- o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o

* You'd be surprised how far Magneto would go just to win an argument.

** Yes, Folks. Some teachers are like that. Mine taught English.


End file.
